This has been a very long and perplexing three weeks. Some one I care about is returning from a European vacation. I have had very little contact with this person, which has hurt to say the least. I hope to know more of where I stand once she returns.
Last night I spent some good ole time with an old friend. We actually use to play guitars at various locales. Nice bon fire, cocktails, and jamming was good for the soul, indeed.
I have been thinking, when I first awake what is the first thing that enters my conscience mind? For me it is the same issue that has been inundating my thoughts for the past few weeks. I have given up way too much emotional space to one thing, which, in the case of recovery, has strained any sense of well being. Today, I am going back to basics. Taking one moment at a time and consciously deploying techniques, which will aide to a fulfilled mindset and emotional stability.
This is what I wrote, yesterday;
Hi, Karina, I was wondering if you could help me out. I am kind of dwelling on where you and I stand and how your trip has effected our relationship. I will just be blunt and ask you if you plan on breaking up with me when you get back? The unknowing and suspense is driving me a little insane. If you do I will understand but not knowing is the hardest part. Deleting our conversation last week was just a way for me to let you go and enjoy your trip…Continue
Man, I am feeling it this morning. A level of anxiety of the unknowing that can only be described as "uncomfortable." I have to question myself and ask; why am I letting this (Karina) affect me so? My only answer, I feel it can be blamed on an obsessive mind. I let things enter the foils of thought, which, combined with a dash of OCD, renders my cognitive abilities to become cluttered and confused. These confusions and obsessive thought patterns make it difficult to concentrate at the task…Continue