Brists's Blog (31)

Just Let Go Already

I am not really sure if, Karina likes me as a person let alone as a friend/boyfriend. Even I have to question my true feeling towards her? I don't think she is a very nice person when it comes down to it. She hates the USA, she is from Belize and often talks about how "annoying" some of our holiday's are i.e. Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day to name a few. Yet she keeps coming back? She is coming over tonight for what reason I don't know. My leg is in a cast and sex is basically out of…

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Added by brists on September 18, 2017 at 5:05pm — No Comments

Just Let Go Already

I am not really sure if, Karina likes me as a person let alone as a friend/boyfriend. Even I have to question my true feeling towards her? I don't think she is a very nice person when it comes down to it. She hates the USA, she is from Belize and often talks about how "annoying" some of our holiday's are i.e. Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day to name a few. Yet she keeps coming back? She is coming over tonight for what reason I don't know. My leg is in a cast and sex is basically out of…

Continue

Added by brists on September 18, 2017 at 5:05pm — No Comments

Just Let Go Already

I am not really sure if, Karina likes me as a person let alone as a friend/boyfriend. Even I have to question my true feeling towards her? I don't think she is a very nice person when it comes down to it. She hates the USA, she is from Belize and often talks about how "annoying" some of our holiday's are i.e. Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day to name a few. Yet she keeps coming back? She is coming over tonight for what reason I don't know. My leg is in a cast and sex is basically out of…

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Added by brists on September 18, 2017 at 5:05pm — No Comments

Laid Up

Day two from surgery. I am very disappointed about the decision I made about this surgery I had done. I really should have received a second opinion before taking on such a huge undertaking. I am basically broke and can't even clean my place. On top of it all I can't find my cat. All I can think is that someone came over and left the door open enough for her to get out? 

Added by brists on September 16, 2017 at 7:11am — 1 Comment

Ackilees Heel

In one day I went from mobile to immobile. What was I thinking? Fuucking bad decision. The surgery has me down and out for 10 weeks.

Added by brists on September 15, 2017 at 7:24am — No Comments

Casual Encounter

September 12, 2017. 

Added by brists on September 13, 2017 at 5:25am — 1 Comment

Letting Go

If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.

Added by brists on September 10, 2017 at 7:00am — No Comments

Sunday

“I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT...Goodbye.”  

Added by brists on September 10, 2017 at 6:42am — No Comments

Wednesday

Actually turned out to be okay. Just hooked up with, Karina good evening.

Added by brists on September 7, 2017 at 10:59am — No Comments

Wednesday

Actually turned out to be okay. Just hooked up with, Karina good evening.

Added by brists on September 7, 2017 at 10:05am — 1 Comment

Struggleing

Feeling hopeless today. Summer is gone and I have not planned or set goals for the times to come.

Added by brists on September 5, 2017 at 11:13am — 1 Comment

End of Summer

I met her on the first day of summer, June 1, 2017, well close enough. I said good bye today, the unofficial end of summer September 4, 2017. We pretty much ended that same way we started. A little smoke and a one way conversation followed by a hug and a goodbye. I am broken hearted because I was expecting so much more, even though foolishly. I won't be hurting anyone by being with her but will I be ready when it finally does end? I feel like I am in the middle of it all. I know it isn't…

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Added by brists on September 4, 2017 at 3:04pm — No Comments

Sitting at work in Grand Blanc

Man I am really struggling today. Trying to wrap my brain around the end of a relationship. I think it best to start the grieving process as early as possible without the confusion of retrospect, if that can be done. Thinking of the zero things we have in common makes it a little easier, I guess. Man my mind feels broke. I have little asperations and even less motivation to aquire such.

Added by brists on August 29, 2017 at 3:14pm — No Comments

Introspctive

Spent most of the day with, Karina yesterday. Slept, stopped by LCC, lunch, then just kicked back. I guess I will keep it as simple as I can. Not sure what the future holds but who the hell does. I am just sitting here wasting time until I go to work at 230pm. Guess I will use this forum for daily journaling, sorry so poorly written and pointless but what the hell at least it is something I can look back on. 

As I sit here I feel so empty inside. feels the world is spinning around me.…

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Added by brists on August 29, 2017 at 9:44am — No Comments

Fade Away

Love that fade's away after riding the wave for as long I possibly could but today the sea's are calm. I will always have the "look back." Fond memories of early infatuation and burning desire. Twenty four years is just a little to great to lay the foundation of anything long term. This phase of my life has just become a memory but a very fond memory indeed.

Added by brists on August 28, 2017 at 4:30am — No Comments

A girl from over the pond

This has been a very long and perplexing three weeks. Some one I care about is returning from a European vacation. I have had very little contact with this person, which has hurt to say the least. I hope to know more of where I stand once she returns. 

Last night I spent some good ole time with an old friend. We actually use to play guitars at various locales. Nice bon fire, cocktails, and jamming was good for the soul, indeed. 

Added by brists on August 20, 2017 at 10:04am — No Comments

Back to Basics

I have been thinking, when I first awake what is the first thing that enters my conscience mind? For me it is the same issue that has been inundating my thoughts for the past few weeks. I have given up way too much emotional space to one thing, which, in the case of recovery, has strained any sense of well being. Today, I am going back to basics. Taking one moment at a time and consciously deploying techniques, which will aide to a fulfilled mindset and emotional stability.        

Added by brists on August 19, 2017 at 6:22am — No Comments

Putting it out there

This is what I wrote, yesterday;

Hi, Karina, I was wondering if you could help me out. I am kind of dwelling on where you and I stand and how your trip has effected our relationship. I will just be blunt and ask you if you plan on breaking up with me when you get back? The unknowing and suspense is driving me a little insane. If you do I will understand but not knowing is the hardest part. Deleting our conversation last week was just a way for me to let you go and enjoy your trip…

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Added by brists on August 18, 2017 at 4:24am — No Comments

Anxious and Overwhelmed

Man, I am feeling it this morning. A level of anxiety of the unknowing that can only be described as "uncomfortable." I have to question myself and ask; why am I letting this (Karina) affect me so? My only answer, I feel it can be blamed on an obsessive mind. I let things enter the foils of thought, which, combined with a dash of OCD, renders my cognitive abilities to become cluttered and confused. These confusions and obsessive thought patterns make it difficult to concentrate at the task…

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Added by brists on August 17, 2017 at 6:30am — 1 Comment

No Call, No Care

Well, it has been 3 days since I have heard from Karina. It was a great run but like all is good things the past is today's memory and today is yesterday's tomorrow. I will let go and set my sights on more realistic goals like; finding a career type job, work more diligently at the job I am working now, and keep my options open for a new relationship. 

I feel surprisingly content at the moment. Almost hopeful and giddy, not to sure where this is coming from but why question it I will…

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Added by brists on August 16, 2017 at 4:01am — No Comments

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