Yesterday, when I went to pick up my step son from school, I spoke to his teacher and his counselor about what was happening and expressed my concerns about my wife's alcoholism. She's been borrowing money to make bills, but I know that she hasn't been paying those bills. I know that she's been spending that money on booze and frivolous clothing for herself. When I saw my step son, he was wearing clothes he outgrew months ago. She hasn't been buying him new clothes.

I know why she doesn't want me near the apartment anymore: she doesn't want me to find the drinking. I know that she feels some shame, but not enough if she's just going to spend money on things SHE doesn't need while her son needs new clothes. I'm sure that the dishes have stacked up, the floor hasn't been cleaned, the dog and cat have pissed everywhere, and that the entire apartment has gone to s***.

What I'm torn about is doing the right thing and what that means. When I spoke to his teacher and counselor, they "warned" me that they are mandated reporters. I told them that I used to be a mandated reporter and understood exactly what they were going to do. I also told them that I, too, have contacted CPS regarding my concerns. I know that I'm doing the right thing by my step son, but I also know that this is going to damage her, which I never wanted this to come to. I have tried everything to help her and she has pushed me away. I have tried to get her to get help, professional help, to take control of her drinking problem, but she would rather push me away and continue on her way.

I have remorse for taking the steps that could ultimately remove her son from her care, but I would have even greater remorse if something happened to him, as they happened to her, without ever doing something to stop it. It was a living nightmare. I had expressed my fears that she would get so drunk, forget to lock the door, and not even notice if someone came into the apartment, which is exactly what happened. I expressed fears that she would get so drunk and not be capable of helping her son if something happened. I will not keep these fears to myself since she is doing nothing to remove the element that puts them in danger. I can't do anything to help her, but I can make an effort to help him.

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Comment by Lauren on August 19, 2017 at 7:01pm

This is such a difficult situation, but you are doing the best you can by looking out for the safety and well being of your step son. The fact that you care so much says a lot about your character. 

Comment by Bashooku on August 19, 2017 at 3:15pm

Well, I tried talking to her about it. I tried to express my concerns regarding the drinking, how much money she's spending on that, and how that is effecting her ability to pay the bills or, simply, buying her son some new clothes needs. She told me that my "paternal" concerns are not "okay." I told her that her response to my "paternal" concerns is not okay. So, hours later, she called me up to tell me that we are never getting back together.

Comment by brists on August 19, 2017 at 1:05pm

Have to do the right thing.

Comment by OddOne on August 19, 2017 at 12:08pm

Bashooku, It is often hard to do the right thing because of the consequences.  You have to try to look at the big picture.  I think you did the right thing and I wish you the best of luck.

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