Sven; Day seven went by fairly fast but another 14 will drive me crazy. I can't express what I really feel because she would run. I think I am only fooling myself to think that this would work anyway. there is a 24 year difference. 24, mean married when she was born meaning I could have gotten a girl pregnant many times over and had her as a daughter yet I call myself in love. In love with a pre-existing condition of OCD and depression great combo to bring into a relationship. Do I really care what she is doing and who she is doing it with? It is not that I really care it is the unknowing that makes me crazy. will she sleep with this guy or that guy all it takes is one bad phone call and she would be off to the races. oh man nothing to do and tired.

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Comment by Bashooku on August 9, 2017 at 5:54pm

I battle with the same worries and uncertainties. It's rough and it's hard for the mind to not perseverate over such things. What's been helping me, and it is still a practice to eventually make it a regular strength within myself, is finding a project that requires rational thought. My current research project regarding Stoicism gives me food for thought, but it also calls for me to retain and assimilate the information into my own understanding as I reorganize the data into a research paper. I'm not going full blown college class on it and allowing myself to include my own thoughts and feelings on the subject, but the overall practice is still the same: organization, focus, rationalize, internalize, interpret, and return with a cohesive and comprehensive piece. What kind of project do you think you could do to reach for these elements?


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